When it comes to sexual desire, we often hear only one story – the one about spontaneous desire that comes out of nowhere and is strong, immediate, and passionate. But the reality for many women is completely different. And that’s okay.
There are two types of sexual desire— spontaneous and responsive . Understanding how they work can change the way you perceive your body, your relationship, and your libido.
🔥 What is spontaneous desire?
Spontaneous desire appears suddenly – without a clear stimulus. A thought, a touch, a look is enough, and the body reacts immediately. It is typical especially at the beginning of relationships, when everything is new, exciting and hormones are dancing.
According to research , up to 75% of men experience spontaneous desire, but only about 15% of women . However, this type of desire is often portrayed as “normal” in the media – and so many women feel like there’s something wrong with them if they don’t feel it every day.
But it's not true.
💞 What is responsive desire?
Responsive desire works differently. It doesn't arise out of nowhere, but unfolds in response to a stimulus - for example, a touch, a kiss, closeness, or even a deeper conversation with a partner.
At first, you may not have the "desire for sex", but during contact, the desire gradually awakens.
This type is more common in women – up to 30% of them experience it regularly.
It is closely connected to emotions, a sense of security, context, and trust.
This means that there is nothing wrong if your desire does not appear "on its own." Maybe you just need to gently awaken it.
⚖️ Many women have a “mixed” type of desire
- Most of us don't experience desire in just one way.
- Sometimes it comes on its own, other times it needs an impulse.
- This mixed type of desire is experienced by up to 55% of women and varies depending on the phase of the cycle, stress level, or closeness with a partner.
🧠 When you feel like you have "low libido"
Society often talks about “low libido” as a problem. But the reality is much more subtle.
Every body has a different pace, a different sensitivity, a different rhythm. If you don't feel desire spontaneously, it doesn't mean you don't have it, it just might work differently.
Especially if you are a responsive type , you may wait for "that moment," but it won't come until you give your body and mind space to tune in.
💡 How to boost desire and better understand your body
1. Create a space for peace and relaxation
Stress is one of the biggest blockers of desire. A gentle evening routine helps – candles, a bath, touch, breath.
2. Strengthen emotional connection
Responsive desire often begins with emotion . Share, talk, embrace. Feeling safe is the foundation.
3. Don't wait for the "taste", but let it arise
Many women only feel desire during intimacy – and that is completely natural.
4. Support your body from the inside
Getting enough sleep, nutrition, minerals, hormonal balance – all of these affect libido.
Natural supplements, such as maca, zinc, or magnesium , which support hormonal balance and energy, can also help.
🩷 If you have a partner
- Communicate openly – say what helps you feel comfortable and connected.
- Don't push for performance – desire is not about speed, but about presence.
- Learn together – discover what makes you happy, without expectations.
Femvie view
At Femvie, we believe that sexuality is a natural part of women's health . Just because your desire doesn't work like in the movies doesn't mean there's anything wrong with it. It means you're a woman who responds to emotion, context, and connection, and that's beautiful.
Each of us has our own unique rhythm. By understanding it, you can reawaken desire that starts where you feel good.
Explore our section of recommended supplements and products for hormonal balance that support natural libido and energy.
